What happens at a tilak ceremony: rasam, decoration and gifts
A tilak ceremony is one short rasam: the bride's father marks the groom's forehead with kumkum and rice at the groom's home, and the 2 families exchange gifts. Below is the order of the day in UP and Bihar, who comes, what to give and which flowers you need.
How we researched this
Rituals were checked against Pernia's Pop-Up Shop (Uttar Pradesh), Velvet Knot and Cultural India, accessed 14 Oct 2026. They agree on the core and differ on details, so treat gifts and order as family custom.
Last verified: 14 October 2026. We update this page when ratings, prices or hours change.
At a glance
- Kumkum and riceThe tilak itself, by the bride's father.
- 30 to 100 guestsFor the meal, per one guide.
- Sweets and dry fruitsGiven by both sides.
- House decor from ₹2,999Genda jhalar and gate, Lucknow.
What happens at a tilak ceremony?
The bride's family arrives at the groom's home, is welcomed with sweets, garlands and aarti, and a short Ganesh puja opens the rasam. The bride's father applies the tilak with his right thumb, gifts are presented, elders bless, and a meal follows.
Pernia's Pop-Up Shop adds that the two fathers garland each other at the end, joining the families. In Bihar the ritual is sometimes called chhekka, and it may be held on the same day as the roka.
Who attends a tilak ceremony?
From the bride's side: her father, brothers, uncles, a few close family friends and the pandit. From the groom's side: his parents, siblings and close relatives. Traditionally the bride stays away; many families now bring her mother, sisters and cousins. Velvet Knot puts the meal at 30 to 100 guests.
How do you decorate for a tilak?
Keep it simple and low: a drape backdrop behind the groom's seat, hanging flower strings, a thali table and genda jhalar at the gate. The top photo is the whole idea. Our house decoration starts at ₹2,999 and a small stage at ₹8,999, both in Lucknow.
See house decoration with genda jhalar or the small stage setup. Planning the ring ceremony too? Read engagement decoration ideas.
What are the tilak gifts and saman?
The bride's side typically brings sweets, dry fruits, fruit, a coconut, clothes for the groom and shagun cash, often with a ring or chain. Velvet Knot notes shagun amounts usually end in 1. The groom's side returns sweets, dry fruits, rice and clothes. Lists vary by family.
The thali carries roli or kumkum, akshat rice, mithai in an odd count and a coconut. Assemble it a day ahead.
Which flowers do you need for a tilak?
Garlands for the two fathers, marigold for the thali and the gate, and fresh strings or petals behind the seat. Marigold is the usual choice because it is sturdy and colourful. Order the day before so the stems stay fresh through the meal.
Who performs the puja, and which date?
A family pandit usually opens with Ganesh puja. We list no separate tilak puja, but our roka ceremony with a pandit starts at ₹3,690 on the Lucknow pandit page. Pick a date from the puja and muhurat calendar.
Frequently asked questions
What is a tilak ceremony?
A pre-wedding ceremony in which the bride's family visits the groom's home and marks his forehead with tilak, a sign that the match is settled. Families then exchange gifts and share a meal. It is one of three pre-wedding steps, with roka and mangni.
Who applies the tilak to the groom?
The bride's father traditionally applies it, using kumkum and a few grains of rice. Where he cannot, her brother or another senior male relative does it. In Bihar and eastern UP it is usually the bride's father, and a family pandit often opens with a short Ganesh puja.
Is the tilak ceremony the same as roka?
Not always. Roka is the families agreeing to the match, tilak is the formal marking of the groom, and mangni is the ring exchange. Some families do two of them on one day, and some call the tilak chhekka. Ask the elders which names your family uses.
What gifts are given at a tilak?
The bride's side usually brings sweets, dry fruits, fruit, a coconut, clothes for the groom and a shagun amount, often with a ring or chain. The groom's side returns sweets, dry fruits and clothes. Exact gifts vary by family and community, so confirm the list with elders.
Does the bride attend the tilak ceremony?
Traditionally the bride does not attend, because the ceremony happens at the groom's home and is led by the male elders. Many urban families now bring her mother, sisters and cousins, and sometimes the bride too. It is a family choice, not a rule.
in Lucknow?
We'll dress the house, starting from ₹2,999
Genda jhalar, gate and entrance florals for the tilak, or a small stage for the seat. Pay after WhatsApp confirmation.
Sources: Pernia's Pop-Up Shop, Uttar Pradesh wedding encyclopedia · Velvet Knot, tilak ceremony guide · Cultural India, tilak ceremony · all accessed 14 Oct 2026 · myguldasta wedding setup price card
Published 14 October 2026. Last verified 14 October 2026.